Eleven rules that males should abide by when interacting with a female.

1) Boys, be very careful of who you call mate, and talk to like a bloke, because that short haired nine year-old girl (that begged her mother not to cut her hair because she would look too much like her brother) might become a tad mad and punch you.

2) Just because a fourteen-year-old girl accidentally (on purpose) knocks your books out of your hand doesn't mean you can slap them, because that girl might have one wicked punch that makes you cry.

3) Do not laugh at a seventeen-year-old girl wearing a badge that says "I give head until I'm dead" because she may not know what it means. Just tell her to take it off and mention its true meaning (that it doesn't mean she has a smart-mouth) so she can get mad at her friend (the one that lied to her about its meaning) and not you.

4) Also, don't laugh at your girlfriend when she accidentally misreads a shop sign, thinking it says Martial Arts and not Marital Aids.

5) Don't ask someone else's girlfriend out and then say when she turns you down, that she can have two boyfriends at the same time because it's not considered cheating if two out of the three know about it.

6) Keep your hands to yourself in a club or the female you're pawing (and upsetting) might have a mate with a VERY loud voice that will tell you to f... off, and that no one would want to go with you because of your extremely small pe... and that it took her so long to find it last night that she thought your were a girl.

7) Don't follow around a woman at their work asking for her number, and when all else fails ask if she has any sisters or friends that might like to go out with you.

8) Also, if a woman has a baby in her arms at the beach, and is looking after two other young children, I don't think she wants you to try your pick up lines on her. And when she says she's married, it's also not a good idea to ask if she has any sisters or friends that you could go out with. Though, the two kids did appreciate the blowup raft that you brought along.

9) When a woman is seven months pregnant, you shouldn't ask her out to a party for two, grinning lewdly at the same time.

10) Telling a woman "Thank you for the mammaries" is not a compliment.

11) If you are at a birthday function where your wife is on one side of you and the woman's husband is on the other side of her, it's not a wise idea to touch the woman's hair and say how beautiful it is. This rule also go for lecturers when teaching a class.